Pro Wrestling Chronicle

The great Carlos Lopez, who went to both ROH Mania weekend shows in Houston, sent in a more detailed report of his experiences. Check out what Carlos thought of seeing ROH for the first time.

Thoughts from an ROH rookie:

I guess you could say I’m a relative newcomer to ROH. I do own the first year of events on DVD—and that’s it. Unfortunately for me, at the time that I was buying the DVDs, I was a poor college student living alone. I had to choose between paying bills and continuing my collection. Consequently, I missed the Golden Age of Ring of Honor. I was fully aware of that as I headed into Friday night’s event. I knew not to expect something like Joe/Kobashi or the Dragon Gate tag match. Those days are in the past. This is a company with a new direction and a more conservative booking plan.

Those thoughts in mind, never at any point did I hesitate to come to this show. From what I’ve heard, Ring of Honor is still the premier wrestling organization in the US, and probably North America. I’d been looking forward to this, since ROH announced their plans to come to Houston.

After a long drive from Waco to Houston, compounded by the bloody traffic, I was dropped off around 6:15 at the George R. Brown Convention Center by my fiancé—while she went and visited an old friend she hadn’t seen in a while. Once there, I checked out Booker T’s “Legends of Wrestling” event, which people were coming in and out of. I’ve never been an autograph hound, so the thing wasn’t for me. It was cool to see the fans, especially kids, interacting with the wrestlers. Some quick notes on that:

*Everyone seemed to be having a good time, even if people weren’t around, especially Dallas Page. Goodness, does that man ever stop smiling?
*Debra Marshall is the embodiment of a Southern trophy wife, from the implants to the starting-to-be-too-noticeable-facelifts. Nice lady, though.
*As most people have noted, Samoa Joe is not a very big guy.
*Christy Hemme is adorable
*Met James Caldwell of PWTorch, selling his wares. Nice guy, if a little aloof.
*Sharmell…uh…T is gorgeous; tall and lean with a booty that won’t quit…

Ahem, anyway, back to the actual show.

After a quick stop at the merchandise table to peruse the goods (and let me interrupt the narrative here for a small rant: To whomever makes wrestling t-shirts – Guys, there are more colors out there than black. I know it’s a slimming color, and most of your fans are basically heart conditions surrounded by a human shell, but come on. 90% of your shirts are black and 99% of those would look better in different colors. Diversity is a good thing. Now back to the show) I grabbed a snack and a drink before I made it to my seat.

At about 7:45, everyone’s favorite Frenchman Celian Varini walks in surrounded by his entourage/groupies. He was like the French New Wave kid in Son of Rambow (too obscure?) I tried to get to him, but he was talking and I didn’t want to be rude. At 7:50ish, the pre-show began.

PRE-SHOW

1) Alex “Sugarfoot” Payne & Andy Ridge defeated Ninja Brown & “Dirty” Ernie Osiris –

Sugarfoot was really over with the crowd. Ernie Osiris got a “Brooklyn Brawler” chant. Basic match; faces go over clean.

2) Bushwhacker Luke & Grizzly Redwood defeated Don Juan & Andy Duncan –

I remember Don Juan, a Texas Indy wrestler, from the early days of ROH. He doesn’t look like he’s aged a day since 2003. Although, he hasn’t gotten in any better shape, either. It’s a comedy match, but a good one Luke and “The Littlest Lumberjack” play to the crowd. I like Redwood as an opening act. He’s got that 80s goofy charm that works great with Luke. Don Juan knows how to play a heel; too bad he doesn’t have a good “look.” Duncan is just there and doesn’t do much. Faces win with a battering ram.

Before we get to the main show, I’d like to comment on the crowd. I’m new at the live-event going business, so maybe it was an anomaly, but the crowd…you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and virginity.

Two rows in front of me, I have Mr. I-think-I’m-real-clever-so-I’ll-yell-out-stupid-shit-and-try-to-start-dumb-chants-all-night. As the night goes on, he’ll also become known to me as Mr. Even-though-I’m-near-6-feet-and-have-a-body-shape-best-described-as-a-circle-I-will-still-decide-to-stand-on-my-fucking-chair-obstructing-the-view-of-everyone-behind-me.

Next to me is Mr. Drunk-guy-who-doesn’t-understand-personal-space.

And behind me is my new worst enemy Mr. Waaaaaay-too-drunk-guy-who-won’t-shut-the-fuck-up-the-entire-fucking-night-about-going-to-every-Dayton-show-and-also-partying-with-“the-boys”-in-Greensboro.

So, if you’re ever at an ROH show in Dayton or at “the bar” in Greensboro, NC, and see a Dan Didio-looking motherfucker, chunk a brick at him for me. Just make sure it’s not Dan Didio.

Sorry, back to the show. At about 8:15, the lights go dim and the show begins.

MAIN SHOW

3) Erick Stevens defeated Rhett Titus –

I have no problem with Titus’ gimmick. He does well with the flamboyant, Ric Rude/Val Venis –turned-up-to-11 character. I just hate anything that encourages homophobic chants. The Meatheads and Virgins don’t need encouragement. Pretty good match, both guys are good workers. Stevens wins with a lariat.

Mr. Greensboro points out that he’s already had three beers to anyone that will listen.

4) Chris Hero, Eddie Edwards & Incognito defeated Kevin Steen, Jay Briscoe & Magno –

The top rope broke early in the match. It was amazingly weird. Incognito whipped Magno into the rope and BOOM! The wrestlers improvised as best they could, but damn if they could have a good match. The luchadores did pull out a couple of cool moves, though. Incognito hit a second-rope hurucanranna to the outside. Magno hit a moonsault from the top of the ringpost. Everyone hit a dive to the outside. In the end, Magno misses a second rope moonsault attempt and Hero hits a running elbow with his “loaded” elbow pad.

Short break to fix the rope. Grizzly saves the day. “Thank You Grizzly” chant. Mr. Greensboro is looking for more beer. Great.

5) Roderick Strong defeated Katsuhiko Nakajima –

Really good match, not much else to say about it. Great chop-fest in the middle of the match. Both men worked hard, had believable two-counts, and the finish made sense. Solid effort.

6) Bobby Dempsey vs. Kamala –

Big pop for Kamala and Kim Chee!! Match never happens as Kim Chee gets Kamala to attack Shane Hagadorn. Dempsey takes off his shirt to reveal matching “tribal” paint before both men beat up Hagadorn. Fun stuff. After the match, Kamala joins Luke at a table signing autographs.

7) Four Corners Survival: Claudio Castagnoli defeated Brent Albright, Blue Demon Jr. and El Generico –

Claudio is jacked, and sporting a freshly shaved head. He’s also a lot taller than the others in this match. I’d say that of all the people I’ve seen, he looks the most like a WWE wrestler. Demon Jr. is built like a tank; a tiny, blue tank. Generico stands out like a pale thumb. Demon and Generico have a good exchange. Demon hits a Santo-style suicide dive to the outside. Inside, Claudio shoved the ref and this led to him rolling up Albright for the win. Good, but not great match.

8 ) Bryan Danielson defeated Alex Koslov –

Koslov was using his Mexican-heel style tonight: slow, methodical, and playing to the crowd. Great stuff from Danielson as usual. During the match, the fire alarm went off. Don’t know if it was a prank, the smoke machine, or someone Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room. No one evacuated, or moved really. There was a “USA” and “Russia” chant duel. In the middle of it, these guys in kilts started a “Scotland” chant. I thought it was funny. Really good match that saw Danielson win with the Cattle Mutilation.

INTERMISSION –

It was a long intermission as the fire department had to check things and reset the alarm. Before the Koslov match, a couple of Australian ladies moved to some empty seats behind me. During intermission I found out that they were doing a “wrestling tour” and had been to the AAA shows in California the week before. Always willing to talk Lucha, we talked about CMLL and AAA for a minute before Mr. Greensboro started hitting on them…loudly. I didn’t get their names or direct them to this site. The IWC (yes, there is one) is such a sausage fest, and they were really cool, knowledgeable chicks.

9) D-Lo Brown defeated Colt Cabana –

So-so match. D-Lo was playing heel, but people cheered him anyway. Back and forth match. End came when Colt came from the top rope and D-Lo hit him with an Illegal Foreign Object. During the finish, Cabana slipped a bit, eliciting a “You Fucked Up” chant from some jackass. One of the Aussie chicks yelled, “Like you could do that, tubby.” I laughed.

10) KENTA defeated Davey Richards to retain the GHC Junior Heavyweight Championship –

Match of the night. KENTA and Richards tore it up. I’d recommend the DVD just for this match. After a sick bump to the outside, people started chanting, “Fuck Wresltemania.” Yes, the same people that spent up to 10x for Wresltemania tickets as they did for this show. During the match, fat-ass two rows up stands on his chair (what did the chair ever do to him?). We yell at him to sit his tubby ass down, so he does the “pretending-to-scratch-my-head-but-really-flipping-you-off” thing. That’ll show us. Finish of the match was a little screwed up as KENTA went for a Reverse G2S twice and failed before saying “fuck it,” and hitting a regular one for the win. Great job. Couple of standing Os for these two.

11) Austin Aries & Jimmy Jacobs defeated Tyler Black & Necro Butcher –

Poor guys had to follow that. This was like a Q7 RAW match. Crowd was exhausted and used this as a break. Mr. Greensboro had words with some Brits behind him. Cooler heads prevailed however, which was a shame. As far as the match goes, Black was pinned following a brainbuster from Aries. Good for what it was or whatever. Nearly 4 hours in and we finally get to the…

MAIN EVENT

12) Jerry Lynn defeated Nigel McGuiness to win the ROH World Championship –

Audio messed up during the introductions before the main event (3rd technical problem of the night). Lots of “you fucked up” chants, which I fucking hate. McGuiness looked like anything involving movement of any sort was painful. Lynn worked over his arm most of the match. Nigel hits a Tower of London to the floor. Both men are down and barely get back in the ring before the 20 (WTF??) count. More working over the arm. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver, but only gets 2. Nigel hits the Rebound Lariat, but is slow to cover and gets 2. Lynn locks in a Fujiwara Arm Bar, and it looks like its over, but Nigel gets the rope. More near-falls. Nigel goes for another lariat and misses. Jerry hits another piledriver in the middle of the ring and gets the 1-2-3. We have a new champ. Great match.

After the match, Lynn gets on the mic, which is now working again. He acknowledges that a lot of people don’t think he should be champ, but he vows to work hard to prove them wrong. He then puts over Nigel for “sacrificing his body.” Good show overall. I feel I got my money’s worth, especially with the two title matches.

Match of the Night – KENTA v. Richards

Winners of the Night –
1. Jerry Lynn. Congratulations to him.
2. That one guy wearing a Mr. Ass shirt.
3. The 2 guys dressed up as The Rockers.

Losers of the Night –
1. Tall people (especially fat ones) that stand on chairs, obscuring us short people’s views.
2. Butcher/Black and Jacobs/Aries for having to follow the KENTA/Richards match.
3. Any female that is anywhere near a wrestling ring.