Pro Wrestling Chronicle

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. We are 72 hours from Victory Road and TNA Impact is on and we are in the Impact Zone with the same 1,000 bozos that show up every two weeks.

- Abyss is out to start and they discuss how he and Sting are together. He will be facing Lance Hoyt.

Do women in wrestling have the worst taste in men? Christy Hemme is dating Lance Hoyt apparently. She could walk into a doctors office right now and all of them would throw hundreds of thousands at her yet she’d rather date a guy who looks like a greasy stunt double from a Jean Claude Van Damme movie. Whatever.

I know many don’t like Abyss but I do. He actually moves real well for a big guy and comes up with some creative looking offensive moves.

Hoyt has basically gotten no offense during this thing which is odd considering he is coming off a heel turn and could use some momentum. Contrived looking spot with Hoyt going for the coast to coast dropkick as Tenay says we’ve seen this before from him. We have?

Hoyt goes for the big foot but gets caught with a Black Hole Slam and that is essentially a squash.

Abyss goes under the ring and gets the broken glass from under the ring. Basham and Damaja pull Hoyt from the ring but that leaves Christy Hemme. Before Abyss can get to her Tomko and Styles attack. Tomko goes for the chokeslam and then the lights go out. Sting clears the ring with some bat shots then hands it to Abyss.

- Sting grabs the mic and says they will meet Tomko and Stles at Victory Road and Abyss will tell them what will happen. Abyss says this Sunday is “Doomsday.”

- West and Tenay run down the card for Sunday and generally look creepy.

- Nice video package promoting the Titles match at Victory Road. Can Joe and Angle carry Team 3D to a watchable match?

- Interview with Christian and his group. Styles wants to know who the 4th guy is and almost points out he has won more titles than Christian but backs off. Cage than announces Robert Roode will be their partner against the team of champions.

- 3 way match for a slot at the X Division Ultimate X match. Havok vs Kaz vs Martyr. Dissension in Serotonin. The crowd yawns in excitement.

I think Kaz is on the outs with the group so the other two tag up on him. I think- tell you the truth I didn’t realize two of these guys were still with the company, and Raven is useless.

Kaz sweeps the leg of Martyr, as Billy Zabka smiles somewhere, and gets the 3 count. Kaz is in the match. As he leaves though Raven comes out and they all beat up on Kaz. Great.

- Video package on Ultimate X. They need to heavily plug that match at midnight on Saturday.

- Don West went out drinking with James Storm and they talk about Rhyno’s alcoholism. This is playing out like that SNL skit with Kristen Wiig where she just tries to top stories. Everything West says about Rhyno- Storm tries to top.

- Video package on Chris Harris deatiling his rise through TNA. It’s really good and sets it up as a big opportunity for him this Sunday. they almost need to put him over now. The package was that good.

- Main event time as Team 3D/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle team up to take on Christian/Tomko/AJ Styles/Robert Roode.

Robert Roode and D-Von start it off and have a nice little exchange of moves.

Joe and Cage tag in and they battle. Scary looking spot as Joe goes for his backsplash and Cage sits upright the whole time so Joe lands on his shoulders. Tomko tags in and does battle but gets laid out, so Robert Roode tags himself in.

Joe and Bubba start pushing each other and we head to a break.

D-Von is worked over for a couple moments before hitting the hope spot and then getting the hot tag to Joe. Reversal of a jawbreaker on Styles and Angle bails to the floor.

Christian looks for the Unprettier. 3D on Roode and then Tomko wipes out Team 3D. Joe takes him out and then gets hit with the Pele kick. Joe fires back with a clothesline though and catapults AJ into Christian. Joe picks up for the Muscle Buster and Angle tags in, clips Joe’s knee and scores the pin. Hot ending sequence.

Joe is angry in the ring as Angle celebrates.

- Video package for Victory Road ends.

Decent show- wasn’t the blow-a-way show you need as a go home show. It probably wouldn’t hurt if they taped every week so the crowd wouldn’t have been burned out by the end. I think there are some intriguing matches on this card. Don’t know if that necessarily means good or not but I’m interested.