Pro Wrestling Chronicle

Just like Keith Olbermann (I’m a fan going back to SportsCenter), I’d like to nominate a special Someone for WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I’m not saying who exactly, just that he lives in Nashville, has horrible fashion sense, and might have been responsible for losing 40 million dollars just to pretend he’s a star. Calling Memphis! Memphis, Hello?

It is rare that I follow WWE, or for that matter, TNA. I find it hard to watch anything but isolated matches these days, and can’t follow promotions, in any active way. I am,for better or worse, connected enough to wrestling I won’t escape that easily. I was told this past week Vince McMahon pretended to blow himself up, which was funny because it was exactly what I hate about wrestling, but it was SOOO WWE, that I just nodded and said “yep” when a friend called me about it. I haven’t really followed it other then the Bruce Mitchell Audio on the topic and found that they are portraying it outside of wrestling and on their TV shows/websites just like they did when Eddie and Owen died.

Now I thought, “this must be the most tasteless thing Vince has ever done”, which is saying something PROFOUND! (Does anyone remember the Torch Talk audio of Scott Hall giving a great perspective on being disgusted by the Eddie and Owen tributes, even if we as fans liked them?) Even funnier, or maybe just as stupid as WWE blowing up Vince and pretending it was real, media outlets, I guess bewildered by WWE’s stubborn stance of pretending this is real, are doing stories that the whole thing is a “hoax” and a “publicity stunt”. Brilliant. Now that blows my mind. As misguided as local newscasts might be (they care so little about wrestling they don’t realize it’s a TV show that serves 12 year old viewers, who coincidentally, KNOW Vince isn’t really dead, because… it’s a TV SHOW!!) WWE brought it on themselves.

But, to my amazement, TNA and Jeff Jarrett have given Vince a run for his money, in the same WEEK! Jeff Jarrett whored out his wife’s REAL death on PPV under the guise of it being a tribute, and attached her memory to his shit vanity promotion, TNA, as a way of babyfacing himself to the small goofy fanbases of TNA in Nashville and Orlando. All this to celebrate the fifth anniversary of his carny scam – I mean wrestling promotion – TNA. This is Dusty/Vince level disgusting.

I’d also like to point out that in the body of this show Sting came down from the rafters via harness. Remember when Owen Hart died and Jarrett sat their blubbering about helping to keep Owen’s memory alive and raise his kids? That was 8 years to the day Jarrett’s wife died. Haven’t heard anything about Owen Hart from Double J recently, but Sting did pay tribute by NOT dying doing the harness deal (Supposedly never to be done again), and I do see Jeff using a death to get over now, it’s just not a dead Canadian. This excerpt is from the Torch Report that was sent to me via e-mail:

“Back live, Mike Tenay was center ring. He directed our attention to the big screen for an important interview with Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett, from his living room, said the last five years have been the most trying of his life. He said TNA is on the cusp of greatness. Jarrett took us back through the history of TNA, including his trip to Japan to take out Hulk Hogan. He mentioned Jill and started to choke up. Jarrett said she believed, to a fault, in him and the company. They cut to pictures of Jill smiling. He talked about Jill being diagnosed with breast cancer and showing deep love to a number of people over the years. Jarrett brought it back to TNA and said he doesn’t know when or if he’ll come back. He said being inside a wrestling ring is the worst place for him right now. He looked into the camera and thanked the fans for their support. He said, “Thank you on behalf of Jill. Thank you.” They aired a memoriam for Jill, then came back live where the fans applauded and some fans were shown crying. A chant of “Thank you, Jeff” broke out in the arena.”

Thanks Jeff! You and your Dad are scumbag carnies just like Dusty and Vince. That’s why you still have jobs in Wrestling. I think Brian Christopher, another wonderful product of nepotism in wrestling, said it best when he told the crowd during one fine Memphis studio show, “I wish I had the cure for AIDS, so I could NOT give it to anyone in this audience, and watch you all die!”