Pro Wrestling Chronicle

For Christmas when I was eight-years old I got a walkman, back when tapes were still king and CD’s were this awesome technology only my friend’s rich father had. Unfortunately, my aunt bought me a walkman that said “My First Sony” on the front. While this wasn’t so bad at eight, it was quite embarrassing at 12 years old, when I still hadn’t replaced it.

Hopefully in five years Chikara Pro Wrestling will still be around, and hopefully I won’t feel embarrassed when I watch a DVD of the show, because tonight was my (and a special young friend’s) first excursion to the lucha-influenced promotion.

I had originally hoped to go with website TNA-scribe and damn fine man, Brian Hansley. We were thinking of doing alternate reports and seeing what came out of that. Well, scheduling conflicts arose, and my partner became the greatest gauge of wrestling for the next generation yet - my five year old nephew, Matt. Matt and his step-father accompanied me to the American Legion for a show entitled, “Time will Prove Everything”. We shall see, Chikara, we shall see!

Before I begin I’d like to thank Brian Streleckis for giving me some research notes on the match-ups and the wrestlers themselves. Brian will be joining the site soon to add insight into a lot of indy wrestling, and his thoughts on mainstream happenings as well. Streleckis knows his wrestling, and his notes were a valuable tool to navigating the night.

A healthy crowd filled the upstairs room of the legion. I’d say probably 50-75 people, I’m no good at guess-timating smaller crowds. Give me big round numbers where being off by a couple hundred is accepted, and I’m good. The atmosphere was very mom-and-pop indy with cheap concessions and smoking allowed. Legion rules I guess, because they served beer, and it’s been a while since I’ve been to a show where you can get drunk and yell at masked shirtless guys.

We hurried in just as the first match began. Chuck Taylor was the heel. Billy Roc played nice guy babyface. Brian referred to him as “solid cruiserweights from IWA Mid-South”. He wasn’t kidding. Great pick for an opening match in workers and match layout. A Fun match that started out with chain wrestling and comedy. Good crowd interaction, and had that great indy feel where you can hear what they’re saying in the ring because you’re right on top of the action. Excellent heel/face dynamic, as Taylor refused to shake Roc’s hand, but Roc would outwrestle him and then grab his hand and shake it. The formula for the match was there, as the heel Taylor got excellent heat for the body of the match. The hope spots were well timed out, and nothing was over thought. Chuck Taylor won with a move that looked like Bam Bam Bigelow’s old Greetings from Asbury Park/Michinoku Driver move, or a modification of it. Taylor also gets extra points for stealing the root beer during and after the match of a kid in the first row, and talking trash to him. Thumbs up opener.

Brody Lee was the next heel out. I had no notes on the guy, but he looked like a very low rent Bruiser Brody, and my nephew informed me with child-like wonder, “Oh, that’s the coolest guy EVER!” So I figured he must be really over. Except, when his opponent, Equinox, came out, I asked my nephew what he thought of the masked man. “He’s gonna win.” Matt told me. Equinox is apparently greater then the coolest guy ever. Who knew?

My notes told me Equinox claimed to be Mexican, but might not be, and he’d play an underdog role. Yep, that was this guy, and this match. A lot of power moves from Brody, and a lot of lucha-inspired spots from Equinox. Neither was terribly impressive. One spot of memory was a slingshot falcon arrow by Brody Lee for a nearfall. Equinox was very hit-or-miss, and green on carrying himself, but went over with a surprise roll up. Match finish did get a big pop, as the great thing about this crowd was they wanted to like everything.

Obviously, I’m a big ROH fan, so I’m defensive of ROH knocks, but this show would not get over with their fanbase for workrate reasons in many cases. Also, the WWE (no big friend of mine) fan would not like this show as the wrestlers aren’t on drugs, there’s no pyro, they actually wrestle, and during the entire show there was no mic work. REFRESHING! In fact, I did hear some anti-ROH and Anti-WWE cat calls from small portions of fans. TNA wasn’t even worthy of remembering to these people. My point to all this is these great indy shows run on small scales really are hidden treasures you’d find at a yard sale and be made fun of for buying. They exist in their own bubble, and it really is a good feeling to see it.

At this point we got Matt’s mother on the phone, at which time my five-year-old nephew gave the greatest dissertation or wresting I can remember: “Mommy, where are you? Come here. This is AWESOME. They flip and the go up and they crash down… their in a string thing (ropes and ring) that’s bouncy and they hit each other!” Truer words have never been spoken, and fans near us got a kick outta that.

Third match was a bit of a letdown. Crossbone, the heel, was a heavyset La Parka type. Kinda a fatter thicker Super Dragon, but without the silent charisma. He did look evil, and did scare my nephew. “He’s not a nice guy at all” Matt told me, matter-of-factly. The babyface was a very green, very vanilla, Create-A-Wrestler. Which is a funny way of giving a young guy a lucha gimmick and having the fans pick what it should be on their website. Bless that Mike Quackenbush. But yeah, fat lucha wannabe versus skinny pale lucha wannabe.

Very quiet for this match. My nephew gave them the most heat I think. Whoever hit a kick on the other was the “mean guy”, but overall, it was Crossbone. Crossbone also won the match, making the heels 2-1 on the night. I should mention, without understanding the heel-face dynamic (which surprised me), Crossbone was the only heel Matt didn’t seem to favor most of the match if not all of it. So I guess the Steve Austin anti-hero character will continue to reign with new RAW fans in 5-7 years.

Black Out came out next. I’m familiar with them from CZW, and because the King of Diamonds, Eddie Kingston, is the man. I watched him for much of this next match. He reminds me of Corino, in that I’m more into what he’ll say or do then his wrestling, not that I hate either’s work. Joker, of Black Out, was the most impressive to me of those I had not seen. They were the heels, I think, facing the Colony (a very entertaining ant colony gimmick) and Hallowicked, who the ants carried out. Very fun stuff, as Hallowicked is a little brother type to Delirious of ROH fame, and they even tag here in Chikara (in the notes, and a great gibberish promo on Youtube.

This match was mostly well timed high spots to start, and the crowd cared about each one because these guys were all over. The ants looked smaller then me, which is another reason we need indys in small bubbles so these guys have a place to be. Chikara aforementioned bubble is well layed-out as a presence, and this match basically brought that out. It had wacky lucha influences in moves and gimmicks, fun American wrestling humor, Dragon Gate spots, and through Kingston, all Japan spots. Kingston even did a Stan Hanson longhorn salute and a “UUUUUUUUU” yell, like Hanson use to do, after a stiff lariat during the match.

Match settled down, and blackout got heat on the faces until a hot tag was made. Almost ever match involved clapping to cheer a babyface hot tag, hopespot, or comeback. The crowd so involved all night, and I loved that. This IS pro wrestling. Hallowicked gets the win for his team after rolling up Eddie Kingston. Kingston, upset, starts what I guess is an angle, because he rolled out, yelled at an old man to move, and left through the crowd. My nephew Matt looks at me, and very seriously explains, “he’s running away cause…cause he’s mad and he’s sad.” If we were suppose to feel empathy for Kingston, then he did his job with the kid.

Intermissions are awesome if you like pizza and soda. If not, you shouldn’t have read this part. Great first half. We all had fun.

We’re brought back to Ricochet. Ricochet is a baby face. My notes from Streleckis were that he’s from IWA-MS and trained alongside Chuck Taylor. He listed a few other things, but nowhere did it say, “looks like the guy everyone’s talking about from American Idol. Now I don’t watch the show, but even Howard Stern watches Idol, so I’ve been informed and seen pics of the kid. He wrestled Chris Hero tonight.

Hero comes across so big time in a small setting like this. I mean, this is the guy who carried the heel side of the ROH/CZW feud, and he knows how to work a crowd. Good exchange of holds to begin. Again, Hero wasn’t just good with the ref and Ricochet, heel wise, but verbally with the crowd during the match. Even though he was such a good heel, Matt sees it differently. “That’s Superman!” he says of Hero, whose costume is a take off of the caped superhero. He didn’t like everyone booing Superman. He didn’t like how hard Hero slapped Ricochet though.

Story of the match was Hero, dominant in both size and talent, making sure every move the colorless Ricochet did was important. There was a great lucha dive/miss-dive sequence ending with Hero stopping a dive with a big boot to great heat from the crowd. Ricochet’s selling and comebacks, for his part, were pretty good, but Hero completely made this kid look like gold. Awesome false finishes as Hero let Ricochet kick out of everything. Finally, he hit him with the Hero’s Welcome and they both get over. Hero leaves quickly and they turn off his music to milk Ricochet being helped up. Large applause to no ones surprise. He’s over in the loss. Might have been the best match of the night.

The next match WAS sports entertainment, and the epitome of how great the Chikara bubble world can be. To small little guys that looked like ROH trainees came out to the Full house theme. The gimmick: The Olsen Twins. They aren’t even twins, but they are great heels. They did the “Cut it out” Uncle Joey special, and the “You’re in BIG TROUBLE, Mister!” catch phrases before the match. Their interactions with each other and the ref were classic.

The heels were ShaneSaw, a tag team comprised of Jigsaw, a well liked masked lucha-type, and Shane Storm. Storm is the “unionized traffic regulator”, which Brian proudly put in the notes. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about until the match, and it’s something everyone should see. First off, the guy is chubby, supposedly weighed a lot more at one time, and wears a funny mask that’s more Jason then it is Rey Jr. He carries a stop sign to the ring and wears a sign that says “That Japanese move, which thanks to the notes I knew was Muta’s Shining Wizard.

When an Olsen Twin and Jigsaw did a long run the ropes/criss-cross spot, Shane Storm jumped in to direct traffic. A stop sign spot ensues, then a text message spot, and while the babyfaces include the ref, the twins are left to mumble to themselves and the fans. Got over HUGE! Oh, and Matt loved the stop sign so much he got a pin of the guy at the merch. Table. Just a great comedy match, and I can’t honestly remember who won, but I seem to think it was the heels.

Chikara owner Mike Quackenbush was out next as the face to go head up with Claudio Castagnoli. Just like Claudio’s long time K.O.W. partner, Matt loved the “money man” and wondered how much money he had in his briefcase. Claudio played a great heel, even if my nephew yelled at patrons not to boo because he was “a nice man!”. He was almost in tears on nearfalls when Claudio would be losing.

This was a qualifier for a tourney in Europe I’ve read about. Intricate technical moves sorta lost a lot of the fans. I was part of the small pro-ROH group, but these people came to see Chikara lucha wackiness, and after some time, they got a fun match story. Claudio was a great heel, working the EAR! Yeah, not the leg shoulder, or arm. He did an ear submission, an ear choke slam, and several other variations of known moves, just holding on the ear. The ref was, of course, oblivious. Eventually we had Quack make the comeback, and wouldn’t you know it, Claudio found his ear in trouble to the fan’s delight. Claudio went over in the end, as it really did feel like the night of the heels. And I’d me remiss if I did not mention that when Quack went for a running Summersault plancha out of the ring, Castagnoli caught him and powerbombed him back into the ring. Awesome move.

Main event time. They shoulda switched the last match and this match, but Quack’s probably not a selfish booker. F.I.S.T. came out, a heel team comprised of Gran Akuma and Icarus. They are the tag champs, or as was written out for me per research notes, Campeonatos De Parejas. They seemed okay. Their opponents weren’t much at all, and the less said, the better. They were Sicodelico and Lince Dorado. Whoever the Rey Jr. knock off was, he was better, though he tried WAY to much stuff. His partner was a big guy in a mask they were obviously protecting by keeping him out most of the time. Just a mess most of the way, but everyone really did try. The big guy was always in the way. Heels go over, as Chris Hero watches from the hardcam. My guess is less angle and more watching the masked guys, as I’m told they just debuted last month. E needs to work with them so more.

Night finishes with some fine merch for the kid, and I get to talk to my new favorite crush, Sara Del Rey! She looks really cute in person, lost some weight, and looks cute in street clothes and glasses. We talk about her mentor, Brian Danielson, and
I run out of things to say quickly. At least she didn’t call me “gay” for not buying the merch. She was selling (thanks Allison Danger. You drop a couple pounds and now everybody owes you something).

Chikara is arm-drag city. It’s mom and pop. It’s goofy. It’s not ROH. It’s not WWE. It exists in a fun goofy bubble with it’s own subtext, like Lord of the Rings. You get sucked into their world, and those around you encourage it. Even there website has funny caricatures in place of actual wrestler photos. And EVERYONE must watch Chikara Podcast-a-go-go! It’s real life Adult Swim. I can’t wait to go back, and neither can my nephew!
Chikara’s Website
Chikara Podcast-A-Go-Go