Pro Wrestling Chronicle

The debut of Steal This Match, where we pimp matches and then you steal them from someone online rather then pay us. Screw it. Cheat your taxes to, what do we care. This week, I just sat down and watched the 3.4.07 Budokan Hall Main Event, KENTA vs Morishima for the ROH World Title. Click the button and all you’ll get is this lousy match review.

I’m hoping this is better then the dull draw they had on the SEM show in December. It’s not that they don’t put great effort in, and those wonderfully dull “silent heat” Japanese crowds don’t help anything, but sometimes knowing the match won’t have a real nearfall until 15 finisher/kick outs and 20 minutes in grates on even a defender of the NOAH style. I know in ROH right now I’m begging Nigel McGuinness, BJ Whitmer, and a few other guys to lay out the matches a little more realistically. Especially you BJ, you aren’t that high on the card. I digress.

Crowd is as usual asleep for this main even to start. What happened to the days when they’d chant “MIS-AW-A” or “KAW-A-DA” or “KO-BASH-I” before the signature music even hit? I’ve got a theory. It’s not the MMA boom (even that’s getting old in Japan). It’s not the pageantry of network TV (though half the time I watch MMA coverage from Japan I forget there’s a fight about to break out at there wonderful circus/Dance/Entertainment events like Pride and Heroes). Nope, it’s the lack of three syllable words. Morishima – to hard to chant. KEN-TA. Well, we’re getting closer.

In December I was thinking how crazy it was to see Danielson wearing an ROH shirt to the ring in NOAH, or an ROH graphic on G+ TV. This show they have “ROH” on the electronic board showing the match up, and one of these guys actually has a belt I watched defended in front of maybe 400 people once. Amazing. Then again, no one mentions this, but can you name another group anywhere in the modern era (1984 onward) that’s worked with all 5 of the “major” offices in Japan? Regardless of what you think is major or isn’t, I think we can all agree All Japan, New Japan, NOAH, Dragon Gate, and Zero-One are pretty much the most known names for pro wrestling in Japan. ROH has done business with each one to varying degrees of success.

We start out very UWFI early 90s. I’m waiting for Takada or Maeda to appear on my screen and slap or kick one of these guys. KENTA comes with the shoot-style kicks and open-hand slaps. Morishima throws forearm slaps. Kenta out-stiffs him. KENTA even gets control early with a back drop driver. Credit to Morishima for getting up for it. Quick kick to the face and KENTA tries a quick pin for two. No one reacts, but I appreciated the guy playing like he realizes he needs a quick shocking pin.

Morishma gets the advantage after his lariat is cleverly blocked by KENTA with a kick. Sidewalk slam. Tease of the deadly back drop driver (I get the Terry Gordy references, and I agree, but does no one remember the deadly back drop drivers of Jumbo Tsurta? His finisher is totally shades of Jumbo. “OHHH!” chants, anyone?). KENTA’s not going up that early for the big move (thank god). Morishima to the outside. His throat meets a guard rail. Who’da thought?

I know it’s Meltzer-babble (Like cliché psycho-babble, we must now all argue on message boards about parroting Meltzer’s “word of God”, and then defending it with our own opinions so that we’re overly aware of Meltzer opinion and our place to the right or the left of it) As I was saying, it’s Meltzer-babble (TM), but Morishima really does sell credibly for smaller guys. It’s rarely mentioned though, that those smaller guys are KENTA and Marufuji, who just happen to be two of the best and most credible offensive wrestlers in the world today. Credit must be spread further around the locker room.

NOAH needs Gabe Sapolsky to book. All this talent and even the match layouts tend to be a little stale and formula for my taste. I say this, and yet it’s obvious NOAH and it’s predecessor, 90s All Japan, are big parts of the Sapolsky formula as well. He just has a way to tweak it. It’s called a DIRECTION!

OH my God. Watch this match to see KENTA do a springboard Warrior’s Way (Low Ki move probably taken from KENTA or a young Muta) all the way to a dead Morishima on the floor. This, much like the Kenta-‘Fuji 10/29 Falcon Arrow to the floor is amazing to watch. Then you’ll wonder why the match would keep going on. Welcome to post-90s pro wrestling, I guess. Morishima sells it like he’ll vomit and be counted out. Me too!

Back in, KENTA can’t get Morish. Up for Go 2 Sleep, but he does each a sick Hanson-esque lariat. Its part of the Morishima charm, that decapitation thing. Lovin’ it! Morish. Goes for that stupid flying butt smash that only he can pull off and make you go, “okay, I’ll um…yeah, bought it as credible”. Here’s the best part. KENTA catches it and German suplex him. Crowd is actually fired up this early. GO 2 SLEEP! Two count. Crowd can’t be bother. Idiots, all of them! KENTA pins like Flair would cover Vader in Starcade ’93. Actually, this match reminds me of that “chop down the big bad oak tree” theme. And as much crap as I earlier gave NOAH’s layout, this has been very well produced because they’re cutting out the predictable fifth through eighteenth minutes. This from a Danielson mark. How fical we all are.

Kenta has a strong sense of urgency, which is how this should be played. Knees and kicks from him. Morishima out of nowhere w/ a killer lariat-OOOOO and back drop driver for a two count. That time everyone liked it. Me too. Morishima proceeds to beat the shit out of KENTA to the point the ref tries to back him off, and gets tossed. Purists of Puro and frustrated WWE/TNA fans won’t like it at first glance, but this rarely happens in NOAH, so it has meaning. Like when people boo a double knockout in ROH because it’s “sports Entertainment Crap” or a non-finish. Think about the fact that it’s never booked in that territory, so it’s got value from a story telling aspect. Not everything is for us to dissect as work rate geeks.

More vicious Morishima big man beatdown. KENTA tries to no-sell a back drop driver, gets a lariat for thinking about it, and a second back drop driver. The ref must have forgiven Morishima for his disrespect (perhaps he has Yakuza connections), because he counts the three for the Morishima win.

People will bitch about this being to short to main event Budakon, or that Morishima’s matches are to one sided and squash like. There’s a reason guys. Again, not everything is about even-steven work rate marathons, though I love those, and NOAH respected Sapolsky’s booking decision to make Morishima into a monster. GOOD! He is, and it’s fun to watch. This was just under ten minutes and still gets 3 ¼ snowflakes of enjoyment (stars) from me. If I’m being obnoxious and not well rounded by still giving it a workrate score, fine. Then for that segment, I RECOMMEND you view this match, especially in the context of post Morishima beating Whitmer in Feb. and pre-Morishima coming back to ROH in April. I’d love to see these two meet up in an ROH ring in the U.S. Morishima needs Bill Alfonso. Who can stop the path of RAGE!!!???

One last piece of Meltzer babble. He gave a very good rating (4 ¼ I think) to Homicide/Danielson at Final Battle ’06. We’ll be reviewing that on the site soon. I’ve heard this was an awesome ending to the Homicide storyline and a fitting title change for the greatest run of any champ, Bryan Danielson (bias, I know). Also, he gave 4 ½ stars to Morishima vs. Joe from NYC on 2/16. I was there live. This is a definite “Steal this match” qualifier and best big man match I might have ever seen. We’ll have a review or two here when it hits.