Pro Wrestling Chronicle

I try to sit through a whole RAW (while actually being excited about the product, and fail, and the ROH/CZW angle goes to the next level as Homicide joins in. It’s fun to look back in this Tuesday May 16, 2006 edition of Four For The Road.

–The Borders close, and then RAW goes on the air. Typical trick. I was really excited about RAW this week. I had a great weekend, a good day, and I’d heard the main points of the show. Cena and HHH open. Foley gives a promo on his heel turn. I was even excited to see the shining star of the Spirit Squad, Kenny Doane, take on HBK one on one. Then Sports Entertainment got involved.

There’s a difference between obvious storyline matches and matches that tell a story. The RAW opening Texas Tornado (get it, they were in Texas) double titles three on two match was an overbooked storyline match. The fact it too me that long to name it gives you a clue. It was a false advertised main event match turned carefully constructed clusterfuck (it’s not harsh language; it’s an approved industry term). Remember when the worst thing about watching a match was hearing the guys call the spots. Now we don’t have to worry. Some of these spots have become so obvious we should have a “contrived spot ten second countdown” on the Titantron (AKA the big screen. Stop naming shit that already has a name, WWE; you’re pissing off Dennis Leary).

JBL wore his oversized goofy hat to the premiere of Kane’s new movie, “See No Evil”. Rey Mysterio, not to be outdone, wore his stylish suit and his luchadore mask. Vince McMahon was there as, well… Vince McMahon. And Kane, the star of the show, wore his wrestling gear. Is there any form of entertainment more embarrassing then WWE-style pro-wrasslin’?

How did those writers ruin my shining stars?! My precious Mickie and Trish feud! Last week was so good. Why didn’t they write anything for Trish and Beth? Did someone think this would fall flat on its face? I guess that second step is a tough one. Hopefully the second step for Foley is an improvement.

How do Golddust and Snisky get a tag title shot? Better yet, who approved the S.S. defending the titles like the Freebirds? Oh, the Evil Owner angle. That’s not old at all. Look at the legs on that trademark Sports Entertainment angle go.

Mick Foley was out using his verbal skills to be cute. I get the subtle heel hints, but I thought it was the wrong time. In the WWE, they should be a little more obvious. We wouldn’t want to play about the lowest common denominator. Funk?! I didn’t wanna see Funk ten years ago when I bled ECW chants I was such a Kool-aid drinker.

Why did Foley invite Dreamer to be in that match last week again? It wasn’t like he just showed up expecting a match to upstage Foley. At some point J.R. remarked that Foley gave us a sub par excuse this week, and I hope that was a wink-wink to the rest of us.

I saw this angle in ECW. Not a bad rendition or take two, but it was much better in front of the Arena crowd. Funk can still throw some funny-ass bitch slaps.

Foley and Funk put together a great promo. I’m still not sure why Foley did any of this in storyline fashion, but the crowd was booing. Or chanting Mick…whatever.

My TV goes off and I encourage you to read Paul’s RAW Ramblings to see how the hell he sat through all of this one. (LOST reference ALERT) It’s gotta be fun, or at least a good sociological experiment. I wish I had my own Pearl Hatch to watch Paul watching RAW.

–The CZW/ROH feud takes the next step. Weekend shows in Long Island, Philly, and Edision where apparently a success for the interpromotional angle. It’s amazing to say, but the angle is just kicking off a new chapter. They’ve gotten Super Dragon blown off for now, Joe fighting Necro Butcher in a great brawl, ROH trying to win and/or ruin the CZW’s Best of the Best tourney in Philly, and Homicide and Chris Hero’s big day. I think they had some wrestling matches too.

Chris Hero just won the CZW title. His enemies in CZW, the group called Black Out, look to be joining the feud as well. These moves serve to solidify Hero as the controversial Pied Pier of CZW and give him a foil within his own manipulation of CZW. These men love CZW, but Black Out sees through Hero’s storyline sham.

On the other side we had Homicide, an ROH veteran, finally join up on the ROH side after Commish Cornette and the elevated Adam Pearce begged him enough. He took the beaten up (and major PPV bound) Samoa Joe’s spot after an attack, and had a very memorable hardcore match with Necro Butcher. With the hardcore at a minimum in ROH, these matches really do stand out on the card. The guys seem to go the extra level to make it seem heated and hate involved.

The only problem came in the form of CZW’s marathon Philly show, leaving wrestlers to rush up to Northern New Jersey and fans to leave CZW early. Hey CZW, this is your shot guys. ROH has brought in some interest and some bigger crowds. This was your marquee event. What are you thinking?

Overall, this feud continues to amaze, and with ROH having strong business both nights, and CZW doing three times their usual crowd, it’s not gonna stop now. The DVD releases so far have been great, and I’m hoping CZW/ROH, and Smart Mark Video and ROH can come to terms on a detailed compilation DVD or two. Not only would it be a top seller, but every promoter in the world should buy one to see what unselfish booking can do for two companies.

My picks for this week include a Hero/Danielson title for title rematch of the contest that kicked off this feud for the July 15 Ring of Honor show. Of course, that’s just the finish to the chapter in July. We’ve still got till December to go.