Posted on May 13, 2013 by Rick Finch
Posted on May 13, 2013 by Rick Finch
“Our true enemy has yet to reveal himself.”
(James Earl Jabronie Voice’s over video that contains (in no particular order) bright white light and rays of sunshine, volcanoes spewing lava, rosary beads and crosses, time lapse footage of blooming flowers, sun shining through the US flag, the founding fathers, JFK, Martin Luther King, and the moon landing.)
James Earl Jabronie: “It is irony in the purest sense, this ceaseless cycle we call mortal life that we cannot truly inspire until we expire. Two thousand and thirteen years ago a man…His name…Jesus Christ. His words…20 centuries and counting and still revered. In that time humanity sought another. That search ended not with a boom, but with a birth. August 11, 1953…a prophet, a healer…a fighter foremost ,but a lover through and through. August 11, 1953 a mold was formed when a Terrance Gene Bollea entered this world. Soon that mold will be irreparably broken as the legend that beget that man, Hulk Hogan passes onto a path not travelled since the son of god himself. His matches, his celluloid classics, his unmatched oratory abilities and his twitter prose shall live and inspire generations, but physically HE will not. Tonight we celebrate Hulk Hogan. A real American. And an unreal ideal to which we must all aspire.”
(Fade to black)
(Cold open with a live rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings as performed by a children’s choir and several x- division wrestlers and gut check contestants mid-ring. The ring apron and turnbuckles are red and yellow and the ring ropes have been replaced by feather boas.)
Tenay: “Hello and welcome one and all to a very special edition of TNA Impact. As you can see this is not our usual carefree joie de vive style open…”
Taz: “Lucha libre? Jimminy Crickets! Whaddya talkin’ bout Tenay?!?”
Tenay: “Tonight we will celebrate the last Impact appearance of the terminally ill Immortal Hulk Hogan. Now Hulk isn’t here yet, we understand he’s attending several meetings and is expected to join us later in the program, but we will have reflections from TNA luminaries, and negotiations are ongoing to speak to several of his colleagues via live telephone interview as well…and Tazz some of these names have worked and DO work for another company.”
Taz: “Well don’t be keepin all the tasty jelly beans for yourself Tenay, spill em!!!”
Posted on May 08, 2013 by Rick Finch
Posted on May 06, 2013 by Rick Finch
The plot thickens.
(After “Preeeev-ious-ly on Im-pact Wr-eeest-lll-ling” segment, EARLIER THIS WEEK Hardy is shown entering Hogan’s hospital room. Brooke is asleep in the chair next to the bed.)
Hogan: “Ssssh. Keep it down, brother, she was up pacing most of the night and needs her rest. It’s good to see you, Hood Ornament.”
Hardy: “Good to see yew, Hulkster. These are fer yew.” (Shows Hulk the two dozen red and yellow roses he brought).
Hogan: “Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you, brother. Positive flowers from a positive dude, life after life. I dig that. How’s everything goin’?”
Hardy: “It’s bad, Hulk. Aces and Eights are plannin’ something big, I ken feel it. Aries and Roode are runnin’ rown completely unchecked, and Bad Influence are matchin’ em step for step. What they did to yew Thursday…”
Hogan: “Kaz and Daniels. … Brother, I thought I’d body slizzammed the worst of the worst, but those haters are operatin’ on a whole other hate level, dude. And the fact that they co-opted Jimmy Hart, that’s almost too much to bear. They’re so steeped in the negative that bad feelings and illness permeate all their relationships. Even our relationship to them. They’re draggin’ me down a path of darkness, and I don’t want to follow, but my feet ain’t listenin’ brother.”
Hardy: “I’mma so sorry this is happening to yew, ‘specially naow. Yew’ve always believed in me, even when ah gawt busted fer that private pharmacy ah had goin’ under mah stairs. Let me try to set things right, Hulkster. Yew ken sign a match with Bad Influence fer that burial plot they stole out from under yew. It’s well within yer power. All our contracts have that personal property clause. I ken get it back for yew. Just give me a chance.”
Hogan: “I am so happy and grateful for your thoughts. They’re truly worthy of you, brother. But there’s two of ‘em, Jeff. Shift your awareness and see the truth. The blackness of their hearts make them what I consider to be the most dangerous tag team on the planet. Who’ll stand beside you?”
Posted on May 03, 2013 by Steve Kriske
On the eve of another ROH pay-per-view, we’re back with a full preview of Border Wars 2013 and Sunday’s television tapings. We also recap the latest minor technological disaster that was Supercard of Honor VII, including Jay Briscoe’s title win. All that plus visiting wrestlers, weird manager stuff, and Brian throwing down the gauntlet for UNR’s Rick Finch!
Posted on April 30, 2013 by Rick Finch
The story of Hulk Hogan’s demise continues.
(Video showing the entire roster and many early arriving fans giving blood before the show.)
Tenay voice over: “Earlier today hundreds of Impacters and Harbeson, Delaware residents alike donated both red and white blood cells to help find a cure for Hulk Hogan who was poisoned several weeks ago. For details on where you can mail your blood, please visit ImpactWrestling.com.”
Keneley: “….we’re on. ……Mike, I, ….you’ve gotta …I’m… not…”
Tenay: “…don’t look …at me… so …weak…”
Taz: “Useless. Looks like once again I’ve gotta do everything round here, sans catering of course. Folks, my white as a sheet colleagues here donated way too much blood an hour ago and are thus the quivering puddles of suck you see now. You idiots are doing way more to bring down this travelling sideshow than Aces & Eights are.
Truck guy, just throw it to Hervey. I’m sure he’s violating somebody’s personal space. (To Keneley and Tenay) Eat the damn cookies they gave you.”
(Cut to Jason Hervey and cameraman following Sting)
Sting: “What am I doing to find Hulk Hogan’s poisoner? Well I’ll tell ya, it’s called the direct approach.”
(Sting kicks in the door to Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan’s dressing room only to find Morgan and Ryan both already layed out on the floor.)
Sting: “….. Ta ta for now?”
Posted on April 24, 2013 by Rick Finch
Five years ago a group of friends set their minds to booking the amazing (for our purposes) BG James vs Kip James feud.
The first four Impacts and one pay per view of that long and twisted story were committed to audio. (MP3 attached below)
This led directly into what the world now knows as Up North Radio.
Fast forward to February 2013, when they tried to do it again. Here is Week 1 of the storyline “Hulk Hogan Has Five Weeks To Live.”
Todd Keneley: “I do not know if I will ev-er get used to those fire-works. Hel-lo ever-y-bod-y and wel-come to Im-pact Wres-tl-ing. I am Todd Ken-el-ey, here with the Pro-fess-or Mike Ten-ay, and the hu-man su-plex mach-ine, Taz.”
Taz: “I’ve gotchu on a real short leash tonight, Keneley. I’m telling you, tonight could easily end with you diggin’ your own grave. Unmarked of course.”
(Todd visibly gathers himself)
Keneley: “We are com-ing to you live from the Orval Faubus Municipal Refectory in Caulks-ville Arkan-sas, and the wres-tl-ing fans in at-tend-ance are all think-ing a-bout our belo-ved com-mis-sion-er who is near-ing the end, Hul-k Ho-gan.”
Mike Tenay: “You said it, Todd. Hulk Hogan’s collapse last week during the christening ceremony for Madison Rayne’s baby shook us all, and made the doctor’s prognosis all too real. (Continued as voice over as video pack plays) Even Aces and Eights thought better of their plan to turn the proceedings into a melee, and went so far as to escort the ambulance to the local hospital on their motorcycles.”
Taz: “Mike, don’t mistake our kindness for weakness. That would be a mistake. Hulk still represents TNA, a diseased animal we intend to put down. But that doesn’t make him any less a legend in this business. The Aces and Eights have a time and a place for everything, and our President himself made the call.”
Keneley: “In-ter-est-ing de-vel-op-ments to be sure. And Brooke Ho-gan has ass-ured us that Hul-k will ad-dress the fans la-ter to-night.”
Posted on April 19, 2013 by Rick Finch
IT’S PART TWO!
Featuring more Sajid, Burnside talking ROH, Johnny P talking WrestleCon and his documentary (coming this Saturday!) and THREE more Classic Clips.
Posted on April 15, 2013 by Rick Finch
It’s (probably) the biggest audio of the year!
In part one Ush, Brian, Sajid, Mimi and I discuss WrestleMania Weekend in all its forms.
Part 2 is coming soon with other perspectives on the festivities.
Also, we enjoy many Classic Clips, each from a different promotion. Today it’s WWE and Chikara.
Posted on April 03, 2013 by Steve Kriske
Ring of Honor and Charlie Haas went to WAR, and only one came out alive…figuratively, anyway. In this week’s show, we react to the bizarre news from Asheville as well as the rest of the show’s results. We also preview the big weekend for Ring of Honor and others in the New York area, featuring Friday’s Supercard of Honor VII IPPV and Saturday’s television tapings.
Posted on March 21, 2013 by Rick Finch
Ben, Joe and I talk the fallout from Lockdown.
Featuring an alliance forged between PWChronicle and Toad Hop Network, Better Know a Guest Host, Lockdown highlights, Aces & Eights hijinks, THREE new classic Hogan promos, Brooke cryin’, Big Rob dancin’, a new How Bad star is born, a promo rebuffed, Ben putting people down, TWO Classic Clips, a calvary killed, and much more!
Posted on March 19, 2013 by Brian Streleckis
Thrills and chills, shock and horror, excitement and SCUM. For the first time ever, I take the control of an entire episode in Steve’s absence, and Cal Burnside hops into the co-pilot seat to weather the storm that was ROH’s 11th Anniversary Show. Discussion galore of all of the matches, including the surprising title changes and the beginning of a new invasion angle. Plus some brief talk about recent happenings on TV and what to expect from the next live event in North Carolina. Hold on to your butts.
Posted on March 17, 2013 by Rick Finch
Ken and I sit down to discuss New Japan Pro Wrestling’s big show from the Tokyo Dome on January 4th, Wrestle Kingdom 7.
Meltzer says you’re not a fan, or a man, if you haven’t seen it.
Have a listen!
Posted on February 28, 2013 by Steve Kriske
With another year of ROH action in the books, it’s time for another anniversary show, which means it’s time for us to preview this weekend’s 11th Anniversary Show in Chicago Ridge. We also run down the results from Honor vs. Evil, preview Sunday’s television tapings, and discuss the latest in the Nigel McGuinness saga.
Posted on February 21, 2013 by Rick Finch
I’ve been cataloguing the tweets of the man known as “HH” for a couple years now.
Here are my 30 favorites, in no particular order.
– Just for the record,Bubba and I are NOT friends and never will be friends,we are NOT friends. HH
– What a great weekend and such a important week ahead ,a very exciting g time,greatness a service to people are the forefront,one lovetruthHH
– I have totally surrendered to the Universe. HH
– The Samoan people say,the train leaves and will always journey and keep running until it reaches it’s final destination,some people will Fall off along the way and some new people will climb on during the journey but nothing will stop the train from reaching it’s final Destination! This is so true,there have been so many people I thought were really friends that have fallen off the train but only a couple Are still on the train from day one and a few new people have jumped on that have turned out to be beautiful surprises,it’s gonna be Interesting to see who rides the train all the way to the end with me! Much love much respect as always. HH4LIFE
– TNA IMPACT TONIGHT ,it’s about to blow,I’m ready to kick ass and take names and break out the spray can and tag victims TNA dead HOLLYWOODHH
– I know @ViSalus will be upset but the truth is I always use 4 scoops instead of 2 scoops in every shake!So shoot me.HOLLYWOODHULKHOGAN4LIFE
– Closer to God than ever!!!! IAMTHATIAM, ,I AM THAT I’M. Love,Peace,Joy,Perfect Health,Greatness,Abdunance!!!! I AM THAT I AM. HH
Posted on February 15, 2013 by Steve Kriske
It’s a day late due to the vagaries of the Internet, but a new BSWH is here with all the latest in Ring of Honor goings-on. We briefly touch on the most recent live show results, cover some other recent news, and preview Saturday’s show in Cincinnati.
Posted on January 31, 2013 by Rick Finch
Burnside, Corey and I are all back together for the first time since Feb 18, 2009. Plus we have Ush spicing up the proceedings frequently.
Featuring a scathing Bryan & Vinny Show review, the Observer Awards, Ush’s picks for Best Of, Two Classic Clips involving Jeff Hardy, Keneley Bashing, loads of imitations, Best and Worst of 2012 decided, Ask Corey and Burnside, the Best of the Rest (but with no Top 25, it’s really Best of the Best) and much more!
Posted on January 16, 2013 by Steve Kriske
With just two days left in ROH’s long “house show” drought, we’re previewing this weekend’s shows in Dearborn and Milwaukee, headlined by the American Wolves’ return to title contention and the second Defy or Deny match, respectively.
Posted on January 09, 2013 by Rick Finch
The dizzying highs, terrifying lows and creamy middles of WWE from July through December.
Brought to you by Brian from BS With Honor, myself and our friend Dan.
-THREE Classic Clips from the 1990s
-What will face Daniel Bryan for Best Of 2012?
-What will face WWE’s power structure for Worst Of?
-Brian’s Kane impression
-Loads of Ask Dan and Bryan questions from some of your favorite board members
-Faction Warfare using (almost) the entire WWE historical roster
And lots more!
Posted on January 05, 2013 by Steve Kriske
Our in-depth discussion of Final Battle 2012 wraps up with two differing opinions on the Ladder War main event, plus coverage of the rest of the second half of the card. Also, just in time for tonight’s TV taping, we preview the Top Prospects Tournament and the rest of the announced (as of Tuesday night) card.